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But once again unfortunately, not an artistically inspiring one. By the time I got home that night, I was really beginning to wonder how I’d let myself be talked into going to those bleeding classes in the first place. Elvira had apologised to me, that Abigail hadn’t been able to show-up again. But by that time Elvira’s raving on about Abigail had begun to get to me as well. Consequently there was little any chance that I’d cut my losses and throw thecourse up, until the model had shown at least once. The third week I was chatting with one of the poofters’ when an off-white dressing gown, toped by a tussled looking mop of long jet-black hair entered the classroom. ‘Oh goody Abigail is back.’ My new… er, friend gushed, ‘Jerry, you’ve never seen such a gorgeous body, in your whole life!’ I’m not sure what kind of a look I gave the guy. ‘Oh come on Jerry, even you have to admit that that boy last week had a beautiful body? All rippling muscles, in all the right places.’ ‘Yeah well, he. THE PULITZER COLONOSCOPYABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.Colonoscopy Journal:I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep, ' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.I spent the next several days.
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